I'm working on a crazy wig this week for something incoming! Anddddd trying to 3D print my shoes too bahahahsha so fingers crossed it goes well! Waaaaaaaaa been non stop working on this project. I wanna spoil the surprise but I'm tying to hold out for once 😂
Summer bikini set coming tomorrow though :3
Summerrrrr is destroying me. Bring out ya hose, I need a sprinkler or something
2025-02-04 19:16:56 +0000 UTC View Post
Was diggin up the archives and was sending out some of my cosplay sets tonight. Like who the hell was that?! hahahahahahaha, I really wanna break out of this lil mind warp I'm in, I feel like I've given up on myself, but I know I got a bigger brain now, I wish I could get the brain and body in sync.
UGH Age is a bizarre thing.
But then again, this was like 3 years ago yet Im acting like its 100....
But then again, looking back to when I was at my.... professional peak? uh... well popular? (they all sound horrible, scratch that heh) THE BOOMER DAYS OF SOCIAL MEDIA!!! I was so insecure, yet STILL I hear about how I was so much better back then, but then all I'd hear was what was wrong with me, along with all the forums and mean stuff...
Crazy thing was duriong these years I was so insecure about how I looked. I struggled to take photos with others or go out to cons very much. It very much felt like luck that I got to do this professionally and I think others knew it too, which was why I copped it so much.. In person I was very quiet and no where near as oretty as my photos... A LOT of work went into them I guess...
Then life happened and like the camelion Ive always been, I changed... Well, in retrospect I'd been trying to find myself in characters I admired growing up, so it doesn't sound that unusual, albeit very Freudian right now hahahha
I mean who expects a COSPLAYER, one from the boomer era in particular, to start doing this for any other reason than passion? or a nerd with some identity issues... I mean, there was NO way to make money from it when I started and for about10 years afterwards, it was a way to spend money hahahhaha but NOT to make it!
It's all changed so much recently. I'm not entirely up to date on anime these days and post patreon-era everyone jumped on board and it became common to turn cosplay into a job, I admit, I pulled away without much thought.
I guess, other than a few viral memes I was in when I was late teens/early twenties, I didnt intend to do cosplay as a job.... It just happened.
Ive been doing it since I was 13.... well back in 2007 is when I first made my first costume, so 13-14? But I never was the type to try pull attention or be savy at the social media stuff, I guess back then, pre-covid and long before, it wasn't so common. So I got lucky...
I kinda rejected the idea of being an "E-Girl", a term that was only coined at my whithering end haha. Nothing against the term, it's become something in itself and a very different genre to what I've felt I've been in, but it just was a new era I struggled to fit in.
I taught myself how to sew when I was 13 and did it for years. Going to the conventions when I was in highschooool was the first time I really got a chance to feel welcomed and have a chance to meet friends with hobbies I rally cared about. Sewing, waiting for the next con, chatting on some dodgy chat rooms and roleplaying on a friday night was my adolesence, Things that gave my life so much light. Now it's so easy to buy a cosplay and it all feels so commercialised ( Ironic, I know, considering it was my job for years ). In hindsight it SHOULD be great, but being creative and expression has always been my passion. The more accessible it became, and the more of a fad it became, I drifted off...
It sucks... I dont know why I shut myself off so much.... Maybe because if I'm interested in something and care about it, there'd be someone who doesn't care, making money off it... Maybe because I'd done cosplay as a job, unintentially buit regardless.... I just ran with it, I looked at myself in the same vein....
I began questioning a lot of things, while going through some of the most troubling periods in my life during covid era, while upsetting and difficult, just letting myself be free in a sense and allowing myself to have all those messy things in life happen, although damaging to my brain, was also very freeing for the other half.
I sometimes have trouble looking back, because, I am envious of the energy and passion I had, but also, I remember how deeply insecure I was, even moreso than now... I wish I could tell her something along the lines of "You don't need to feel that way".... But I know she wouldn't listen hahaha
Overall, it was, and this STILL is, a dream come true, because after the amount of bullying and lack of parentals growing up and any positive reinforcement, I never of thought people would care about me in my flesh vessel.... and as a kid, all you want to do is grow up and be pretty and be a popstar.
Well..... I wanted to be judge Judy at 4 years old... My family nickname for me was based off her, but I'll never tell hahahah. But the irony of wanting to be in law at 5, then growing up to be in porn hahahahhahahhahaha BE WARNED OF ANYCHILD THAT SAYS THEY WANT A LEGITMATE JOB.
Trust that kid that wants to be a penguin. The penguin kid will go far..
But the point of today's rambling..... Not sure there is one... BUT thank you for being here, probably at my most boring time of my life (despite the car explosions and robberies hahahhahaha)
I feel like Im trying to find passions anywhere and in anything, and while I learn something new everyday, Im plagued by the fact, Im still so insecure I struggle to share it with you guys or with anyone.
So in the end, cosplay was great. Despite the struggles, they'll never truly go away, insecurity may get better in some ways, but itll rear it's head in others. I see myself as lucky just to have you guys to tell me to keep going, I know that's a privilidge not many people have and it's also the reason I want to be here and keep in contact...
I could be a wealthy OF girl, but it's just me and I'm almost useless hahaha I probbly need to work harder or get another job to keep things afloat now, but I couldnt ever sell msyelf to a company, just purely because these connections I make here and online ARE my lifeline... I hardly leave the house or talk very much.
I wonder if I'll find my way back into the burning passion of cosplay or whether it will evolve, but more than anything, the fact I rarely post on social media, YET youre here..... it's crazy.. Rain or shine, I truly can say despite all the craziness you may here about my ongoings in life, I mean it when I say I'm the luckiest, unlucky girl of all time.
So.... that went pretty far... and Im not sure how to end that novel hahahhahaha so.... PEACE!....? Smell ya later.
This is (not) an existential crisis.
Oh no I dropped my brain on the floor
2025-01-29 17:32:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Im gunna give you a titty twister next
2025-01-24 23:00:34 +0000 UTC View Post
one kiss on the left cheek please
2025-01-24 00:00:42 +0000 UTC View Post
Back in actioooooon. Took me ages to fiddle around with the camera hahaha but we are rolling :3
My cosplays arrived today. so Im keen to film them next week
Shoot day coming this Wednesday I'm a little nervous to get in my groove again 😳
2025-01-13 13:23:42 +0000 UTC View PostITS THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR!
Well the working year starts right?
So Im finally back on my own now, everyone who stayed with me has returned to the real world and its time for me to be alive and not a hermit crab.
Ill be streaming this week on twitch and here on OF, Ill be doing a lingerie stream here, doing tech stuff, Im working on doing Home Assistant network and home AI stuff :3
Im not sure how OF streaming goes, but Ill be sure to share it if you miss my Aussie hours, as Ill be streaming probably during the day. It'll most likely just be me bitching and scripting in my undies......
Even if youre not really into the tech stuff, watching me unscrew stuff with my long ass nails, will give you some entertainment or trauma lmao....
Maybe youre like 'where is this coming from', but instead of retreating to my hobbies, I want to share them and 'intergrate' it into my other hobbies huehue
I dont really know what to talk about some times.... Im not often good at sexting or small talk, but I love some really off topic facts or tech and Im feeling confident to hopefully bring my hobbies into the public
Im ngl, the stuff I usually care about, I try to keep private because I dont want to hear negative thoughts about it..... Its daunting so the things I do to chill out I often just dont mention lmao. But Im gunna pick a few new things to learn, so we can learn together,
Next week Ill be taking apart some speakers and re engineering them, using some development kit, before I said I wanted Alarm alerts to help motivate me, now maybe I can create an AI to chat with me..... Ill need some help deciding who though, Ive dabbled in a bit, but I kinda wanna work together with you guys if youre interested.... idk, Its kinda hard to meet people who are into the same kinda crap without posting on reddit and I just lurk, I am not really good at posting..... Im gunna try choose new things to learn on stream and hopefully share that!
Ill be returning to normal content and shooting this week. but figured the days where I need to unwind, Id share also. Idk if this will be good. Ive always been a cosplayer, but I figured, I may as well put myself more out there, I cant always keep up and be a dictionary of trends... But if youre interested? idk.
Worst case Ill just keep it to myself but it cant hurt to try. Ive never been confident in how I look or many things, but I know I can slap my fingies on a keyboard and make some sht happen. So Ill give it a go....
ALSO! Im going to make a purchase for shooting, I will pick one this month, going off some recs :3 Well maybe one is just my own... Lemme know Woop
THERE IT IS!
Took me like 4 damn long days to get that PPV list done. Lots of new promo shots in there and new descriptions. My brain is fried now hahahhaha
TO CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS and to celebrate me damn finishing this ppv list.
Until the end of the year theres a 50% sale on all PPV!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS ( and yes, I have now become graphic design master T_T )
Took a day to focus on some self care. Did my own hair, fresh look. Got ready, not that I went out haha
I realized it has been so long since I've given myself a self love day. I hope you take one soon too 😘
Hey guys, if you saw I got robbed but I have 2FA so should be ok. Lost my old phone, so just be careful. I'll send you a 😘♥️if it's from me..
I'm so freaked out. It was a few days ago but my phones been turned on.
The police are in contact I'll show once my accounts safe
New bathroom, new noodie bathroom Pic.
Ignore the very tired face 😂
Hello this is your telephone customer support, how may I help you today? 🤗
2024-11-27 15:14:29 +0000 UTC View Post
Gunna be bringing you all that love in the morning, keep an eye on the DMs 😘 goodnight
2024-11-26 14:31:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Woooooooo move into my new place next week. Wanna build a catio for the goblins
2024-11-20 13:54:29 +0000 UTC View Post
I've been so busy looking for places I decided to talk half a day off today... and that day off I started writing programs to send OF messages directly to my phone and being able to parse a reply 🙃 needless to say it's 4am and I'm dyiiiiiing
And after debuggin I am happy to say I got the system mostly working, so I'll pull it together soon bc my life will be so much better being able to freely reply without relying on logging onto a site like its 2009 lmao
BUT HONESTLY, why is the UI/ mailing system here so bleh
If I can pull something together in 7 hours I'm sure it can be done 🤣
Anyway that's my hobby and how I spend a day off
Not that anyone asked I just needed a goat scream and a bit of a brag.
Here's some ass because my rambling
I've been nyoomin around trying to look at places to move into recently. Do you think I'd make a good tenant? 🤣
2024-11-12 14:04:29 +0000 UTC View Post
It wants you to feed you its souuuuuul or give it a hi five 🧐
2024-11-11 14:30:31 +0000 UTC View Post
Wanna play with my nippy nops?!
2024-11-07 13:51:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome to anatomy class. Now today imma teach you about the forbidden cave of darkness
2024-10-31 15:22:04 +0000 UTC View Post
I got a furby for my birthday and had a big sleep! I'm Gunna make a cursed long furby and it makes me very happy
Gunnar send a Lil video out just chatting and catching up tomorrow. Lil vloggy fren
Is my birthday today 🤔 I forgot about it hahaha
Blacklight bukake video coming tonight in celebration 🥰
I found this on my hard drive and I don't know why I made this unless it was for my own amusement 😂
2024-10-22 13:01:19 +0000 UTC View Post
