I’m going to add more anal content tonight. I noticed this last night and thought you guys might think this is interesting too. I’ve always found marshmallows comforting. Last night as I rolled one around my tongue I realized… they’re candy nipples! The texture, softness…
2021-12-27 16:56:02 +0000 UTC View Post
I woke up an hour and a half ago, too horny to sleep.. after playing with my clit a while I knew I needed an assfuck. I was thinking about being in your parents house, you took me home for Christmas and in the middle of the night I felt your cock poke at my asshole.. once you notice I’d awoke you reached for the lube and lubed up and then thrust in balls deep, with your hand over my mouth so I kept quiet. After thirsting for a while you told me to suck you off to finish so that the cum leaking from my loose whore ass didn’t spoil the sheets. I eagerly sucked your cock in anticipation of the load, barley tasting my ass and the lube.. finally you erupt in my mouth.. I savor the taste of your warm cum, lips wrapped around your cock for a while, reluctantly I remove them and swallow. I give you a kiss before go back to sleep.
2021-12-23 11:09:30 +0000 UTC View Post
I just took out my plug and I put on this new lingerie set. My roommate actually ordered it. I was sitting in the kitchen working on my laptop today, plugged ;) and she tried it on and showed me. Her tits are a little smaller than mine so she didn’t like it on her. She offered it to me. I took off my shirt and put it in on, stood up and looked in the mirror! It fit pretty well! She thought it looked better on me. Merry Christmas to everyone lol. I’ll be taking some more pictures in it. She knows about my only fans and is the roommate that I’ve talked to about making content with.. I know she’s still interested because I’ve been looking at getting a hotel after the holiday season to film more, she said she wants to come just for the staycation.. right.. I can tell by how excited she was when she said that she was interested in more then the staycation.
2021-12-23 04:48:26 +0000 UTC View PostThe first clip is me inserting my small plug this morning, the glass stretched my fuckhole open about 1inch all day. I wore it all day, removing it only when I needed to relieve myself. The second clip I just recorded, inserting a 2in glass cylinder to train my anal ring to open wide. I am going to wear it until it becomes uncomfortable tonight and then I am going to gap3 and record more for you. I usually have the harness prepped beforehand but I was too excited to be recording more again and forgot... It feels so good to be working on improving my fuckhole again. I love being an anal slut for you all.
2021-12-23 01:29:27 +0000 UTC View Post
I took some photos and a short video of me plugging my ass this morning. Today I am going to wear my smaller glass plug all day before inserting my large one later, I am trying to remain patient an work up to it. I'll be uploading more later, for now my asshole is dilated around the glass plug and I'm thinking about how badly I want to be able to gape well for all of you later.
2021-12-22 16:55:19 +0000 UTC View PostA close up video of me playing with my freshly shaved asshole with some help from my leaky cunt juice. It is so hard not to just reach for my huge toys... my hole saw some red the other day so I am giving it a break to heal before I go back to my big ones.. I am so impatient though.. the amount of time I spend day dreaming about having an obviously well fucked puffy g@ping anal ring... I'm such a freak
2021-12-21 00:10:36 +0000 UTC View Post
Just after I shaved tonight... All the lube in the picture is coming from my leaky lube dispenser cunt.
2021-12-21 00:05:06 +0000 UTC View Post
I was going to make a shaving video for you guys. When I was younger I would occasionally get off to it. I realized I was all out of cream, would you guys like to see one?
2021-12-19 05:03:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Unfortunately I pushed too wide too fast yesterday and stretched a bit too far.. I’m giving my hole a day to rest. I know you would like to see me in some way. I have a folder of some inspiration pictures for plugged close up pictures for all, but it’s also been a while since I looked at it like this, it’s nicely altered now, from time to time I consider removing that bit of skin that was the result only 1.5in wide wish a small butt plug as a te3nager, I liked the pain a bit and shoved it in with very little lube, I didn’t know better. I do love how my hole is noticeably well fucked, it’s always been a goal of mine.
2021-12-19 04:46:30 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m back to feeling more creative posing and playing with the camera angles. I have a big day wearing my big plug tomorrow so I’m sleeping in the little one tonight. Goodnight
2021-12-17 07:11:17 +0000 UTC View PostI got the clip to work. I have been keeping up with and yesterday I held my ass open about 2in all evening, when I slept I gave myself a break and my ass felt odd empty. I want to g@pe huge again for you guys soon and surpass my earlier phase. My sex drive is incredibly high... I wake up every morning wanting to have my asshole r@ped.. tonight I will be sleeping with my big glass plug, I'll snap a pic before I sleep for you.
2021-12-16 03:42:39 +0000 UTC View Post
I have been sleeping with this in every night.. it’s like my calming pacifier. I made a video but my iPhone format wasn’t compatible so I will sort it out tomorrow. During the days when I am home I have had my large cylindrical dilator strapped in, holding my anal ring and rectum open about 2in in diameter… all this training has helped loosen me back up. I’m in the stretching stage where farts just slip out. It goes back to normal after you’ve adjusted to the stretch. Some of you have mentioned liking this so I thought I’d mention it. The part I like is the slight loss of control. It’s nothing dangerous and there are devices that electrically stimulate the muscles to “tighten” if anyone ever encounters issues. I don’t want that but I have a strong fantasy of having a permanent gap3. The idea of always having my asshole open begging for cock to fill it, a perfect cock sleeve.. it makes my needy denied pussy drip. A few years ago I had a fantasy of only being fed through an IV so I could always be clean and ready.. with the exception of cum of course.. I’m such a pervert3d slut
2021-12-14 06:05:08 +0000 UTC View PostRemoving my little plug after waking. My asshole is still sore from taking my large one yesterday but was held open nicely with this, I’m going to keep it in today. It is comfortable and I forgot how much it de-stresses me to have my asshole held open.
2021-12-10 15:18:34 +0000 UTC View Post
I had my large plug in for a few hours tonight. I can feel that I haven't been training, my asshole is sore tonight, so I have my old smaller plug in to sleep. It crazy to me that I can't just wear the plug that is larger than my fist with ease anymore. It makes sense, like any muscle in my body, I haven't been training my asscunt so it tightened back up. For some reason I thought I would be able to just pop it back in, I have regressed, but I am not starting at square one. As many of you have pointed out to my slutty cunts delight.. my asshole shows signs of stretching and use... and it is quickly catching up to where it was, but my asshole is sore. So sore I straighten up a little when I sit down and I'm reminded of my training.
2021-12-10 04:34:12 +0000 UTC View Post
It took a few minutes to work in, but then it slid in and my hole felt more normal than it has in months
2021-12-08 15:07:45 +0000 UTC View Post
I took these last night just before I got a migraine.. I am not too happy with the posing but they show off my round ass from all the working out I have been doing. I will need to spend a bit more time improving my posing again. It is something I never talked about much, but when I first started to get more into this I had to work to learn how to contort my body to pose into visually interesting and elegant positions. My very first hotel shoot was such a wash... I had no idea what I was doing and immediately signed up for dance classes after I realized how bad I was; I needed to work on moving more elegantly.
2021-12-08 14:43:55 +0000 UTC View Post
This was taken before my bender... I have been working hard to push my body in other ways as I haven't been training my asshole as much... My goal is to find a balance of both
2021-12-03 03:10:59 +0000 UTC View Post
I have been gone for quite a while, I know I am on the other side of the tunnel now; I am sure because I know longer have a desire to be numb. For so long I wanted to be numb and to lose myself as some of my problems I have been facing are too big to solve, too close to home. Last week I escaped to another country and I went on the first bender of my life. Every night I drank because facing the reality of my current problems was too much, but I was surrounded by good people and I heard a lot of philosophies I found solace in. The best advice, if it's not a problem you can solve right now, and if it's not a problem you can solve, it is not a problem. I have always confronted my problems until there is a solution and it has helped me grow, but what if there isn't a solution? I guess I must accept it as it is. I had some fun while I was away too. I gave a guy a blowjob on the street as we were tucked in the door opening of a shop. You all know I am an exhibitionist, public play turns me on so much... I was soaking wet. Recently only anal and public things can get me wet. I wore a princess plug all day today. It is small, but a start to training more regularly again. The little red mark near my ass cheek is a hicky someone on my trip gave me while eating my ass ;D These pictures are not up to par with my usual style, but a step towards getting back to it.
2021-12-03 03:09:27 +0000 UTC View PostIn more uplifting news. One of my roommates now knows about my only fans and my anal kink... she has offered for me to think about doing content with her, when I am ready :)
2021-11-10 05:00:18 +0000 UTC View PostWhat's a way someone showed unexpected vulnerability or their emotions to you during sex? I feel like the movies never show it. They never show two naked people holding each other, too broken to continue fucking. Sex as an adult is weird. I cried, the way this one Only pounds makes me think he is afraid of the intimacy, that one needs to cuddle me so much I shut down, this other one needs to kiss me and I can't let myself feel "I told you I can't kiss"; he feels rejected, another needs to stop because it's been so long since he's had sex with anyone other than his recent ex, the cute Asian chick at the bar trying to start a threesome is plastered and its 7:30pm, I got her number though :) I'm 27 now.. happened a few weeks ago. Sex has been weird recently. I told myself I wouldn't fuck for a while after I cried. I couldn't get wet for a while.. you all know I am usually soaking.. I told my therapist I felt like I had Erectile Dysfunction for women. He asked me to explain and said he thought I might not feel safe to be myself with the people I had been with, he was right. Finally wet again! But it was as a nearly decade long fuck buddy teased me and whispered in my ear about watching his cum drip out of my g@ping ass.. Idk if it is the safety and or indulging in my anal only kink.. I am just glad to be wet again. I've always used sex as a self soothing drug in some way or another. When the tension builds I am like a junky ready to get their next fix.. I told myself I'd work on my will power, it hasn't happened yet. All of you have been so kind.. it's really meant a lot to me. Seeing how anal is the only thing getting me wet I think I might have to get back to training soon and might start posting again.
2021-11-10 04:52:38 +0000 UTC View Post
http://www.emmasunderground.com/ (is active to collect emails, hyperlink in bio) The design is still a work in progress as am I. I have been healing a tremendous amount in the time I stepped away. I am not ready to get back into it yet, but I will be eventually, I am going to stop saying soon because truth be told idk when that will be. I have wanted my own website for a long time now. Many of you have shared with me personally how you like how open I am about emotional matters around sex, intimacy and kinks. AND how it is surprising on these more porn oriented places that I have been posting. Getting to this point, although I still have a long ways to go before what I want to be, has been a journey. and I truly couldn't have done it without the community I found on BDSMLR. I make content out of a curiosity and passion for sex and sexual exploration, I can't bring myself to take cold quick snaps of my naked body. I want intellectually and physically explore many aspects of sex. I want to make art about it and share all of this with people in hopes that in the joy, struggles and passion they relate to it in some way, and at the very least it provides a different prospect on topics that we don't usually discuss. I will not disappear, I have had many things in my life that I need to heal from, as we all have the battles we fight that no one knows anything about. You all have been an incredible boost being patient with me and offering support. I understand if you want to take a break as I have not put out new content in a while and I can't promise a start date. I will collect emails and notify people when I begin to make content again. Hopefully on my own website where I can control more aspects of the layout and not have content be banned.
2021-11-01 03:42:36 +0000 UTC View PostAfter my recent break up I spent two or three days staring at the ceiling a lot. Waking up on my back, eyes open, lost in something beyond the walls above me deep within myself. Now, weeks later, when I look in a mirror I don't really recognize the woman staring back at me. After those first few days I started to workout hard, legs might give out, can't take another breath, arms shaking to lift the last rep, hard. I needed to push myself to a place where I didn't have energy to think about who I am now. From the first BDSMLR post I made I was changing, I was changing before that... I've been recovering from trauma after trauma for years. After I left an emotionally and lightly physically abusive relationship before COVID the change accelerated . It was one of the hardest damn things I've ever had to do. It wasn't always abusive but at the end, as I picked it apart I could see the subtle signs. I've avoided talking about this because I didn't want anyone to think about the troupe that "damaged" women go into porn. Why are the women, the victims, damaged and we don't think of the men* that hurt them as the damaged ones? Because that is how I have come to see it. My abusive ex was truly a good man, but he was damaged by a social conditioning that taught him that expressions of love were mixed with emotional abuse and violence. It was multigenerational and in talking with other men after it ended, I discovered it was pretty common. It was very hard to leave him, but I knew I couldn't change him. I thought I got out before real damage was done; I tried to start dating months later and realized despite my strength, my growth and my reliance, my confidence was at a low it had never seen before. I vowed to stay single and work on myself. Months pass and lockdown starts. When I started posting on BDSMLR I was confronting a side of my sexuality I was deeply uncomfortable with. I was split into two sides and they didn't know they could exist together. I can be a "good girl" and a "bad girl" too. It was fine to LOVE anal, in fact I celebrate it now :) it took a long time and lots of chats with people about tons of sexual kinks and experiences to feel comfortable expressing myself like this. I chatted with so many of you here and there. I recently got to a point where I get so many messages I can only answer them here.. I developed an amazing relationship, with someone very special to me. He helped me grow so much, but this next stage I need to do by myself. I've been spotting (light period) for two months straight now, when I went to the doctor they told me it was likely due to stress because everything else was normal. I cried during sex last night, we weren't even fucking yet, but I apologized that I 'might be ble3ding, the doctor said it was likely due to stress.' The word "stress" hit my body like a car on the freeway. As it left my lips I could see it on the horizon, feet frozen in the middle of the road, speeding towards me, bam, gasping, tears started rolling. All the weight of all the trauma I have been carrying hit me. I've been hitting the gym twice a day trying to clear my head and get in control of my body. Today I needed a cigarette to center myself enough to get through work; I only ever smoked at the end of my abusive relationship. You guys have not seen my room recently because I've barely seen the floor much myself. I am very comfortable with who I am now, but I am learning how to get my life together. I have a lot of things I need to work on and I made great progress this past week not posting or worrying about posting. I have a lot of goals related to porn, sexual liberation, unpacking gender and making sexual art that I want to accomplish, but I can't do it with my life barely hanging on. I need to take an actual break from here to get my shit together. I don't know what it will look like... I just know I am not in a place where I can make porn, I can't even even fuck without crying and I see this strong stranger staring back at me in the mirror. I don't know who she is, but I know who she wants to be. *I want to acknowledge not all abusers are men, but for the sake of examining this through the lens of my situation, I kept this binary
2021-10-23 02:41:59 +0000 UTC View PostCan breasts be desexualized? Can you view a nipple in a tasteful top or sheer top and not immediately think of something sexual. Are boobs at the beach always sexual? The conversation about the sexualization of breasts comes up a lot these days? What do you guys think?
2021-10-15 03:22:02 +0000 UTC View PostYou guys are the best <3 Your messages and support, understanding, and care for my wellbeing made me feel so loved tonight. I saw a few messages to my post that encouraged me to take time if I need it and not feel bad... it really helped me get space to heal. I'll be posting something later... taking time really helped me get better control over my life, it felt like it was all slipping away from me for a while. Thank you <3
2021-10-15 03:17:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Steamy relaxing shower before bed. I have been hitting the gym to stay mentally well but also to remain in great shape to make content. I have feel like I have been letting a lot of people down, including you guys. I know this set of pictures isn't great but I figured seeing my ass might be better than not seeing it at all?
2021-10-12 04:38:44 +0000 UTC View PostI know I have been absent. Last week I went through a break discussion or breakup... I hope it's not the later. I debated saying anything as we kept most personal aspects private. Please don't take this as an opportunity to try to 'own' me if you are a Dom. This is one time I want to keep most details private.
2021-10-11 12:14:34 +0000 UTC View PostI slept with my Big glass plug in last night.. It got so comfortable I forgot it was in, eventually the lube dried up and my ass woke me up letting me know I needed to take it out.
2021-10-06 12:17:46 +0000 UTC View PostHey guys! I will be making a post tonight. I am just prepping after the gym, dinner, and my evening routine. I've started taking MUCH better care of my body and skin.. I'm turning 27 in a few weeks and I want to stay in great shape and make porn forever! I mentioned attending a sex party in my last post, and indeed I attended a sex party recently. It was one of those things I had always dreamed of. I'm sure many of us kinksters have thought about it at least once or twice since we saw eye's wide shut and then googled if those things are real... just me? lol I found the event online and I attended with a friend. They emailed us the address a few days before and I quickly hopped on google maps street view. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was just a house, a normal looking house... It made me more sketched out as I started to become a little nervous. I didn't know if I would fuck anyone, but I didn't eat all day to make sure I was clean because of course I was going to stay anal only. I have not had a dick in my pussy in a year and a half, sometime at the begging of lockdown was the last time a cock entered my pussy. I was so excited to wear lingerie and heels and do my makeup all sexy. We showed up at the house and the upstairs was more casual, most people were still fully dressed and drinking and talking, one woman had her tits out, everyone was decently attractive. The basement was where most of the action was. My friend and I split ways pretty quickly as people started talking us up. I found someone I thought was attractive and started talking to him, after a little we were making out, while you could hear a few people fucking behind us. There were about 150 people who attended so there were lots of half naked or fully naked bodies and moans. You had to ask before you touched anyone or did anything to make sure it was consensual. In normal circumstances this can seem absurd, but when your fucking strangers in a room full of strangers fucking it was really comforting. At one point I said "Anyone can touch me!" and I had probably 20-30 hands groping me in a few seconds.. it lasted less than a minute but the stimulation by so many people is intense! I ended up having four guys take turns on my ass while jacking off the ones that weren't currently in my ass. I even gave one a footjob to try to satisfy all the cocks. I didn't want to break any fluid barriers, so I didn't give any blow jobs. There was a crowd of around 20-30 people watching while the guys fucked me. It was so hot! I was a little shy though! I love showing off my sexual side, but before my sexual journey during covid, I was deeply ashamed of how much I like sex and I never was openly sexual. Besides sharing it with all of you, this was my first in person group celebration of my sexuality. It was intense, when I had imagined being with more than one person, I never imagined that every new person also has, two more hands and another mouth. 4 mouths, 8 hands, 4 cocks and 50 or so eyes on you is a lot of stimulation! I really enjoyed the experience though and if you can find one of these parties near you, or in the next closest big city, I highly recommend taking the leap.
2021-10-05 03:23:05 +0000 UTC View Post*trigger warning: sexual assault and abuse* I had a nice relaxing night watching Saturday night live. Maybe it was all the talk about R. Kelly that has my mind racing on these topics as my otherwise tired and sore body tries to go to sleep. I was at a dinner party this week and I opened up to a few of my close friends that I had attended a sex party a few weeks ago. I kept it private from all of you at the time to help protect my identity. These friends also know that I’ve had various instances with assaults and I am constantly harassed and I wonder if they have jumped to the “hyper sexual” abuse survivor trope that many people do. I didn’t try to explain how it empowers me and now as I lay here in bed, I am. When I was at the sex party a guy I had been talking to asked in a cute and corny way “how does it feel to just be a miracle?” he was referring to my curves. My answer was honest, “honestly it sucks, outside of this setting, it sucks” And it’s true. It’s true because of how the world treats me. I’m constantly sexualized when I’m just trying to exist and go about my day and it’s why I find power and comfort in being sexual. When I am being openly sexual I am in control and choosing to show this part of me. When I’m trying to workout and gym employees are harnessing me, sexualizing me, it sucks. When I’m in a store and an employee comments on my body and looks while looking me up and down in a way that makes my skin crawl, it sucks. When you want to wear an outfit and have to think if it might draw too much attention, it sucks. When I wear baggy pants and men on the street comment, “what are you hiding under there”, it sucks. When I want to not wear a bra and a man on the bus is starring at my nipples so hard his heads tilted and I wave and say “Hi!” With a wtf face, muttering “weirdo” under my breath, visibly happy when he leaves me alone and then he follows me on my transfer and sits near me, starring, it REALLY FUCKING SUCKS. ‘Is he going to hurt me because I called him out, can I take him if does?’ (All of that has happened) So when I make porn, when I wear lingerie to a party where people ask before even touching you and where I fuck openly. I am liberated because I finally own my body and get to experience the pleasure it can bring and give to others. Some of you have been hesitant to send messages about how you get off to me. I do this because I love to bring people pleasure, so please never feel shy to talk to me about those things, I love an open discussion about it and when I enter these online spaces I am in the mindset that it is usually what people come here for! So I am ready for that and happy to engage :) Some days, unfortunately a lot frequently, I haven’t entered this space because I needed to take some time to heal from the unfortunately long list of sexual mis justices that have happened to me. A lot of people question why women wait to com forward and I found this article that has a lot of psychologists responses to what people say when a woman does come forward and they’re unsure of her story. Although I haven’t pursued any legal action against anyone, I talk casually about some of the things that have happened to me in my daily life. I do it because speaking of it doesn’t make me feel guilty, dirty or blame myself. I found before I ever said anything, when I kept it all inside, I had so much shame and self blame. But because I have opened up about it, I’ve experienced all the reactions that survivors that come forward publicly face, but only on a small scale.. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/09/18/us/kavanaugh-christine-blasey-ford.amp.html
2021-10-03 06:58:20 +0000 UTC View Post